


My Grief Once Broke Me

by Rose_The_Reaper



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-10-19 21:48:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10648710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rose_The_Reaper/pseuds/Rose_The_Reaper
Summary: Oneshot of a member of Levi's squad who thinks all her friends are gone.





	My Grief Once Broke Me

**Author's Note:**

> Please be warned that there are mentions of self harm and suicide. If this bothers you, please don't read it. Other than that, I hope you enjoy :)

I had been back from our excursion outside the wall for a few hours when hell broke loose. Jeshua, a member of the Survey Corps ran to me in a panic. 

“Captain Levi! There’s an emergency!”

“What is it?” I asked.

“It’s Alfie.” He said.

“What happened?” I asked, my heart began to race. Alfie wasn’t allowed to go on our excursion due to an injury she received during the battle of Trost.

“She heard that your squad all died in combat. She doesn’t know you’re still alive Captain.” He explained. “She’s locked herself in the bathroom.”

“Take me to her.” I said. “And tell me everything.”

“There must have been a miscommunication, she thought you and your squad were all killed. She took a sleeping vial and a knife into the bathroom with her and once she stopped answering me, I began looking for help when I saw you.” Jeshua explained, leading me to the bathroom.

“Go get a medic.” I ordered him once we were outside the bathroom. He ran off and I knocked on the door.

“Alfie? Can you hear me?” I asked. After a few moments of silence, I kicked the lock of the door and found Alfie lying in the bathtub, blood swirling in the water. There was an empty sleeping vial on the floor and a bloodied knife next to the vial. Alfie’s mouth and nose were just barely under the water and deep cuts ran up and down her forearm. Thankfully, she was still clothed. I pulled her out of the water and immediately began resuscitating her.

“Please Alfie,” I said, pushing hard on her chest. “You can’t leave me.”

After minutes of pushing on her chest and breathing into her, she coughed up water, but remained unconscious. I knew the sleeping vials were given out in controlled volumes and wouldn’t be enough to cause death but the wounds on Alfie’s arms worried me. They were bleeding uncontrollably and I couldn’t do anything to stop it.

I carefully picked her up and began heading to the infirmary. I ran into Jeshua and the medic. Jeshua left and the medic began holding cloth to Alfie’s bleeding arms. She had a few smaller lacerations and one very large, deep cut on her right arm. The medic administered a serum to her and began bandaging up the smaller wounds. He held bandages against the large wound.

“I have to wait for some of the bleeding to slow before I stitch up this wound.” He said.

“Will she make it?” I asked.

“If this wound starts bleeding slowly soon, then yes, but if not…” he trailed off.

“Alfie, please. Don’t die on me. We need you.” I said, stroking her hair.

After moments that felt like eternity passed, the medic sighed in relief.

“The bleeding is slowing. I’ll start stitching her up now. She’ll definitely have a scar after this.” he said.

“When will she wake up?” I asked as he began stitching up the wound.

“A few hours at least. If it’s more than a day then she’s lost to us.”

I was not a religious person by any means, but at that sentence I began praying to whoever was listening.

Once Alfie’s deep wound was stitched up and bandaged, the medic picked her up and carried her to the infirmary. She laid peacefully in her cot and I held tightly to her hand. A few hours had passed and I still clung to her hand as if my life depended on it. I gave her hand a slight squeeze and nearly fell out of my chair when her hand squeezed mine back. I glanced up at her face and her eyes fluttered a few times before opening. Once they opened, they focused on me and her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“I’m dead, aren’t I Captain?” she asked.

“No Alfie. You’re alive.” I said, choking up slightly.

“I thought you were killed?”

“No. I am the only member of my squad that survived. And you almost didn’t make it either.”

“I’m so sorry Captain.” She said, covering her face.

“Don’t blame yourself.” I said, pulling her hands away from her face. “Blame whoever told you the wrong information.”

“I’m going to have scars.” She muttered bitterly. With one hand I took her hand and with the other I grasped her chin.

“Those scars show you have fought a battle and won. Our scars make us stronger, showing us that the world will not defeat us.” I told her and she began to tear up.

“Captain, thank you.” She said. “I promise I will do my best to show the world that it will not break me.” 

After Alfie’s incident, she continued to show immense mental and physical strength. Even when backed into a corner, she continued to fight without breaking.


End file.
